Tuesday, July 18, 2006

My Sunday Afternoon

Sunday afternoon, I went to visit Jill. She’s been away from the office for a while now, and I had started to gather gifts for her from everyone. I brought in some lovely hand soap, lotion, a magazine and some mints. As people contributed, the basket I brought started to overflow and the envelope that housed the card was also home to a good deal of money. Boss decided that rather than getting her a gift certificate she couldn’t use, we should give her the money.

“It doesn’t escape me that it’s also the easiest solution.” He said a bit sheepishly, and I smiled and patted his arm.

“I think it’s nice either way. We can give her cash – then she has gifts from us and can choose what else she wants.”

I met him at work Sunday afternoon and I rode north of town with Boss and his wife. Forty five minutes later, and following 2 missed turns, we had viewed adequate hills, valleys, ponds and rivers to arrive at our destination. We proceeded down a steep drive to a lovely home and tried to figure out how to get in. Use the basement door or try to find the porch steps in the midst of antique tractors, mounds of vegetables from the garden. I picked my way through the clutter, thinking it was rather charming, and continued to look for steps to the porch above our heads.

“Kittens!” I exclaimed, leaning down and watching my pretty skirt puddle on the ground as I reached for the gray and white striped one.

“Hello, pretty kitty.” I murmured, and looked up to find Boss greeting Jill. I waited until he wife had said hello, then smiled and went to receive my own hug. I held on for a moment, asking softly how she felt.

Boss handed her the gift basket, which she promptly passed off to me. “I’m not supposed to lift anything.” She explained, and took Boss’s wife and me upstairs to her room while Boss visited with her parents. Jill had moved home to care for them as they aged. Arriving in her bedroom, I perused her collection of angel figurines and admired her grandfather clock. I need a grandfather clock, I decided, and turned to watch her crying over the card. After another hug and some girl talk, we went back to the basement to chat with her folks.

Her mother, an adorable lady from the rural South, said in a high-pitched drawl that she hadn’t gotten a hug. I smiled and reached to receive a polite pat on the back, but was embraced fully. She ended up kissing my neck since I hadn’t thought to offer my cheek. I was touched by the lack of pretense – the open, loving welcome that was so easily offered.

“Aren’t you pretty as a picture?” She said, patting the cheek she hadn’t been tall enough to kiss, and pushing me into a chair.

“Careful you don’t topple over!” She advised happily, and I found my balance and perched more carefully in the chair, tugging my pink top down and crossing my legs to watch my pink flip flop dangle. As I looked around the room, half focused on Boss and Jill’s dad as they conversed, I noticed several deer heads. Not at all my taste, but it seemed to work with the stone work on some walls and deep wooden planks on others. It was rustic, but gorgeous.

I smiled over the tomatoes arranged on a coffee table. It was a large table, and completely covered with the orange orbs. All face down. I wondered if that was how they were supposed to be stored, only recently have realized that refrigerating tomatoes ruins their flavor. I had purchased one at the store that morning, though they were out of the yellow squash. I contented myself with green and remembered leaving my produce on the table before getting ready for my afternoon outing.

Jill fluttered around, gathering cans of pickles for us to take home as her dad offered advice on which ones were best.

“He loves canning.” Jill told us, patting his arm affectionately and asking if he was still cold. She had two more plastic bags and began to select tomatoes and examine their tops before returning some to the table and placing others gently in the bags.

“There’s peppers outside.” Her dad said.

“We put some peppers in already, Daddy.” She said, still selecting tomatoes. I was tempted to ask what she was looking for – I’m never skilled at picking produce and tend to just pretend I know what I’m looking for – but was distracted by a bunny on the wall that I hadn’t yet noticed in the dim lighting.

Did it have horns? I squinted at it and swiveled my chair for a closer look. Rabbits don’t have horns, I thought, but then wondered briefly if I was mistaken. Horned rabbits? No, I decided, they certainly didn’t have horns that long. This must be some kind of joke. I returned my focus, unsure as to whether I was amused or disconcerted by the horned bunny on the wall, on the emerging discussion on Jill’s gift of pickled peppers versus the fresh ones her dad wanted to give us that were located outside. She found that basket and placed peppers – hot and sweet – in the bags before being directed to the yellow squash on another table.

“I really don’t need anything.” I offered again, knowing I’d be leaving with at least 2 bags – one for pickles, the other fresh vegetables. She continued to busy herself with gathering food for us as we urged her to sit and rest.

“We’re going to have to leave.” Boss said as the conversation lagged a bit. “She won’t rest while we’re here.”

I stood to help Jill with the bags – they were surprisingly heavy. Boss stood as well, cocking his head to listen as Jill insisted we go see the house her brother was building.

We placed our jars and vegetables in the trunk and followed Jill and her mother to another part of their property. Were impressed by the stone work around a small pond, noticed the waterfall they added. Wandered through the log house that was mostly finished. It was exquisite – the property, pine trees, the location for the pool and hot tub, all the storage.

I was walking with Jill’s sister-in-law as we prepared to leave. She’d hugged me on arrival as well, and I decided I liked these people. They were just so warm, and while I consider myself to be friendly, I rarely feel the immediate affection that seemed so natural to them. I went through a hugging line as we prepared to leave. Told the sister-in-law how happy I was for her – the house was going to be just perfect. Kissed Jill’s cheek and told her to take her time in recovering. We missed her very much, but wanted her to return to us completely healthy.

Then her mother – a little bit of a woman – walked over quickly while ordering Jill into the car.

“We’re going to be late for church!” She said, still coming toward me as Jill promised they’d make it in time.

“Darlin’, thank you for coming out. You come again.” She ordered me, and I smiled and leaned down for her hug.

“We love you.” She said in her sweet drawl and I pressed my cheek briefly to hers as she patted my back.

“I love you too.” I said softly, realizing with some surprise that I meant it.

It’s been clear that I’ve isolated myself since my arrival here. I have no illusions about it being anything other than a personal problem. I have excuses, of course. There aren’t people my age! Well, there are, actually, but they’re all married! I’m not married. I’d apparently rather pout over that fact than go out and meet people.

The nice realization from that afternoon – spending time with my boss and his family, then Jill and hers – was that I’m quite capable of being social. I enjoy time with people and before my traffic situation I was quite pleased with life in general.

The lesson? I like it here. There are people I’ve known yet overlooked as friends for some lame reason. We don’t have much in common. He seems a bit pompous. She’s too flighty. They’re quite a bit older than I am. So now I realize the problem was that I didn’t want to get close to anyone. Know I’m likely leaving in another year or two, and don’t want to form even more friendships that require sporadic email and calls, then visits that make me remember how very much I miss having daily contact with that person.

You probably won’t hear countless stories of parties and my evenings at bars. But I’m going to start working out with someone in the office. Have plans to visit Jill and her family again. Invited another friend over for dinner. It’s taken me a good deal of time, but perhaps I’m settling in a bit more.

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